La Salle Debain

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Banana.

Banana who?

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Banana.

Banana who?

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Banana.

Banana who?

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Orange.

Orange who?

Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

Yesterday was Akshaya Trtiya (Akkha Trij in Gujarati.) It is notable for being auspicious all day long, one of only 4 days in the year when you don't have to look at the muhurta. I did Lakshmi puja (kanakadhara stotra patha) and began several new projects which I will blog about soon.

But the real reason boys and girls love Akshaya Trtiya is it is the day when Akshaya Trtiya Akshaya brings presents to all the good children. This year I got Feisty Fawn from Kubuntu, a six-in-one games set for drinking about 20 gallons of Coke Zero courtesy of mycokerewards.com, and some Philip K. Dick books for winning a caption contest on a blog.

All is not well. There are some atheist secularist communists who claim that Akshaya Trtiya Akshaya doesn't exist and people should refer to the day as "Thursday." Well boo to you I say. Boooooooooo!

As mentioned previously I was invited to talk about Debian at the Long Island Linux User Group.

Much to my embarrassment I had forgotten I had actually spoken at this venue before way back in 2003. But the audience (which of course included many members who had joined since then) were receptive, and asked lots of questions which I like. I did my "Three Pillars of Debian" talk updated for Etch with snazzy new slides — feel free to use them in your own presentations if you like. I was supposed to speak for two hours and ended up speaking for three. So hopefully I managed to impart some useful information and maybe make some new recruits.

I would like to publically thank John Teddy and all the people at LILUG for inviting me.

Also, note for the future: I really ought to learn how to correctly pronounce Hocevar. Sam, you should put up an audio clip somewhere.

At 8pm on Tuesday, April 10th, I will be giving a talk about Debian to the Long Island Linux User Group (LILUG)

As we all know, unless we find a new energy source soon, the Earth is going to explode. I am pleased to announce that today at lunch I discovered the answer. I call it the Vyas 2000 Mega Expulsor Drive. I jotted down the design on a napkin which I have scanned to show you.

1. The containment unit. Debian developers are placed within it.

2. The control unit. It forms a series of tubes which connect the developers. Soon heat and friction are created which, by some kind of scientific process, gets converted into energy. Every so often, the energy is released and spent items are expulsed into...

3. The expulsion chamber. No one knows how this works.

4. I don't know what these bits are for either but they look awesome don't they?

The environmental impact is virtually zero except the unit tends to develop a persistant low-pitched whine which may disturb cats and dogs in the area.

No need to thank me. Knowing I have saved humanity is thanks enough.

0: Promote global Capitalism.

You're welcome.

I am the psychotherapist. Please, describe your problems. Each time
you are finished talking, type RET twice.

I am worried about Debian.

Are you worried often?

Yes!

I see... Well, why do you say this is so?

The Debian project seems to be quite dysfunctional.

What makes you believe the debian project seems to be quite dysfunctional?

We keep having these massive flame wars.

Earlier you said you felt worried?

What causes you to be worried?

It doesn't seem right that a group of people who ostensibly have the same goal should bicker so much. And its the same topics over and over again.

Is it because a group of people who ostensibly have the same goal should bicker so much that you came to me?

Yes. You are a very cheap^wgood therapist. It has been suggested that Debian could profit from therapy.

Does it bother you that debian could profit from therapy?

I would hope that a group of mature, intelligent, professionals could settle their differences on their own.

Maybe your plans have something to do with this?

I have no plans really. I just want to work on a great Linux distribution.

How does it feel to want?

What we have built is so great but sometimes it seems that Debian doesn't get taken seriously when outsiders see all this infighting.

What happens when outsiders see all this infighting?

They think we are just amateurs and they wonder why they should make their future endeavors dependant on a bunch of flighty narcissists.

Do you really think that?

No of course I don't. Debian is just as good if not better than most "serious" operating systems and most of the time Debian developers do work together well and settle their differences amicably. But there are a few people who can't and they really hurt our image.

I see... Tell me more.

There are some people who just can't work with each other and our current way of dealing with such conflicts is at a dead end. As long as issues are left unresolved and they are forced together, these negative people will just keep bickering and bringing the rest of us down.

What are your feelings towards bickering and bringing the rest of us down?

I feel that at this point only answer is for the people who can't alter their behavior to be asked to leave or to remove themselves. What do you think?

Speaking as a trained psychiatrist I think you are all bonkers and I'm switching to gNewSense.